I like how casual I could talk about it. Like, hindi na katulad ng dati na may pang
Although I still can’t get into full detail of our closure in November 2015. Daamn, I tried so hard to not think about it or anything. I even only started to open it up like, two weeks ago? Usually, I write those kind of stuff so I could remember them. But I was so sure back then that I wasn’t going to forget anything (and I didn’t)
His cold, lifeless eyes, as I call them. How he talked about this girl (na hindi niya alam na alam ko ’cause I’m a stalker), how he said “pero seryoso. Never na. As in never,” crushing all hopes and everything, as I instructed him.
Gahd, that was one hell of a first love. I mean, I could have gotten in better, considering we both loved each other at one point. But damn, timing, and Maricel’s recklessness. I find solace in “it wasn’t meant to be.”
Anyway, that last conversation really opened my eyes into what kind of love I want for myself. As time dragged on, I discovered the things I can’t settle for, and what I think I deserve.
So yeah, I guess it wasn’t so bad after all. I loved, I hurt, I grew up.